Confidence versus Conceit

Two different words. Are they different or synonymous? Confidence is signified by a healthy respect for ones abilities. Conceit, on the other hand, is being overconfident in ones abilities to the point where they are cocky. Confidence is a product of time. More specifically time and practice. The 10,000 hour rule comes to mind. Conceit requires no such time requirement. In fact, I would posit that there is an inverse relationship between time and conceit. In other words the more time that you invest the more that you realize what you don't know.

Persistence versus Consistency

I have been focused on the consistency thing and how it differs from persistence. Dictionary.com defines Persistence as “the continuance of an effect after its cause is removed.” Which one is more important? Persistence will help you to achieve a goal however if you're not consistent you will revert to old habits shortly after you accomplish it. Consistency, on the other hand, will cause you to continue long after you have reached the goal. Consistency or persistence. Which one do you choose? It's about making a lifestyle change.

Consistency

I have been doing a lot of reading about actions that I take on a daily basis that I can be proud of. The action that I take consistently is touching base with my Contacts on a daily basis. My goal is to touch base with 3-5 people via email, text message or phone. I have been crushing my goal by contacting seven people per day.

Do Something That You Can Be Proud Of.

Often times schoolchildren are rewarded with a gold star for good behavior. This action reinforces the desired outcome and makes a public display of the child's accomplishment.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like...Reality

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to my loyal blog followers. The question that I ask myself as I ponder my bowl of healthy fiber commonly called oatmeal is during this time of year, when we are supposed to be happy, and many of us sad? I am thinking about wildfires that are burning out of control in northern San Diego County. It's heartbreaking and it helps you put material possessions into perspective. Reality can bite and I mean bite! It can suck! Sometimes you can be bummed. I hesitate to use the word "depressed" because depression is a medical term which conjures up images of being in a medically induced stupor. So for that reason, I will just use the word bummed.

The significance of the Wise Men's gifts

When the Christ was born three Wise Men came bearing gifts. Conceivably they could've brought a variety of things, but the Holy Bible specifically states that they gave babychronic Jesus gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Have you ever wondered why? "Frankincense, sometimes referred to as olibanum, is a common type of essential oil used in aromatherapy that can offer a variety of health benefits, including helping relieve chronic stress and anxiety, reducing pain and inflammation, boosting immunity and even potentially helping to fight chronic disease." "The health benefits of Myrrh Essential Oil can be attributed to its properties as an antimicrobial, astringent, expectorant, antifungal, stimulant, carminative, stomachic, anticatarrhal, diaphoretic, vulnerary, antiseptic, immune booster, circulatory, tonic, anti-inflammatory, and antispasmodic." Gold is a precious metel, but is it more valuable than Palladium, Rhodium, or Platinum?

Be the best version of you possible.

Often times when companies are developing a software there are several tradeoffs that are made and they normally involve the benefits of the features versus the cost. The same thing can be said when we are deciding whether we should pursue an advanced degree or take a course to learn a new skill.The question becomes what is the cost in financial opportunities or time to be a better version of you than you were? The initial question becomes why are you pursuing the degree or taking the class? What is your motivation? Are you taking the class for you or someone else? Any kind of decision like this should be made with your best interest in mind. Your goal is and should always be will this decision render the best version of me possible?

The Last Mile Is The Hardest

When running a marathon it is said that the last mile is the hardest. The same thing can be said for the challenges that people with disabilities face on a daily basis. The front door of the gym where I exercise is on a slight incline. For most people it wouldn't be a thought to get out your car and go inside. I usually stay for an hour before I leave to return home. Before I leave, I have to go through my usual exit routine of visiting the restroom. It's to the point where I have visited the restroom of 90% of the places that I've been in the last four years. I don't say that to boast, but so that you peek into a day in the life.

Managing your energy grid.

When the totality of what a City Energy Manager is responsible for doing is taken into consideration, we share much in common. Like them, we assess how much energy is needed; whether we have the resources to meet this demand and more importantly whether we generate enough energy to meet peak demands. This is the focus of this blog post. Fatigue is a major symptom of Multiple Sclerosis with an estimated 60% of individuals with the disease plagued by it. Most people take the characteristics described above for granted. If we don't have enough energy to meet the demand we simply eat more or for a short term boost drink an energy drink like a Red Bull. I would take shortcuts burning the proverbial candle on both ends. I would burn far too much energy and try to use a candy bar or energy drink as a substitute for a good source of energy. In wasn't until I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis that I really began to take seemingly simple tasks into account. I like to cook. The way that the dishes are distributed in the cabinets along with spices makes it virtually impossible to do this simple task. Even something as simple as standing at the stove and sautéing a meal requires thought about options for conserving energy like sitting on a bar stool. "Yeah, that's it Marcus! Get a bar stool and sit on that!" Well my friend, it takes energy to get the bar stool...time for a brownout.

Life is a Bell Curve

I took Statistics in college at San Diego State University. I hated it...Okay, maybe hate is too strong. I disliked it, however I did learn something very valuable. I am fascinated with patterns and the Bell Curve predicts the lifecycle of many things. Take friendships for example. They typically start out slowly then build to a crescendo and diminish over time. The challenge with programming a computer to play the game Go is that there are so many potential moves that it can only present a tiny fraction of the potential moves. The same can be said of friends. You know what your potential moves are, but you don't know your friend's potential moves. Will you be shot down? Hence, the problem.

Confusing Self Promotion With Shelf Promotion

Our Creator has endowed us with certain gifts and talents. Often we keep those gifts to ourselves and don't share them with the world. I call this 'shelf promotion' because we keep these gifts on the shelf and don't use them.

Revelation

Periodically I go through a period of self assessment or self reflection. I thought about everything that I have accomplished so far and I asked myself had my life been to perfect before? Had it been blemish free? For the most part it had. I mean, I had hit a few potholes in life, but who hasn't? For the most part it has been blemish free. That's almost scary... Many of you know that I am now an author and I was reading an article about the importance of revelation or an epiphany in the story. What is my revelation? My eureka moment.

Forming Friendships

Much has been discussed about the advantages and disadvantages of the current method of communication and forming friendships. I can see the inherent disadvantages of communication via texting, email and IMing. Much of the face to face communication has been lost. Since I started this post, I connected with a friend that I haven't seen since High School nearly forty years ago on Facebook! Let me go on record as officially endorsing this social media trend!

Expectations

I have done an incredible amount of reading on intelligence, the difference between races and ethnicities and cultures. I've discovered in my fifty-six years of living on this rock called Earth that the difference between us has never been about intelligence or aptitude, but expectations. In certain cultures the expectations that a child was going to excel in Math or Science is baked in. Just like the expectation that a child would excel in sports is a foregone conclusion. You probably could picture that child as I described the characteristics... It's all about what a parent expects from the child. I am reminded of the story of Thomas Edison. It is said that as a child he came home from school one day and handed his mother a note from the teacher wrote that she instructed him not to read. Thomas Edison's mother opened the note and read it silently to herself. Then she read it aloud to her son. "Dear Mrs. Edison, your son has exceeded the abilities of our staff to instruct him and we will no longer be able to teach him at our school." Several years later when Mrs. Edison had passed, Thomas Edison was going through her letters and found the note from the teacher. It read, "Dear Mrs. Edison, your son does not have the intelligence to keep up with the other students and we cannot address his needs at this school. Please find an alternative." Mrs. Edison had homeschooled him from that day forward.

Persistence

Of all of the virtues which have been portrayed in writing since ancient times one of them takes prevalence over intelligence, wisdom and charm. It is persistence because it is the engine that powers the other virtues. You can get all of the other virtues if you try long enough.

Word of Mouth

In marketing circles it accepted that the best form of advertising and marketing is word of mouth advertising from a friend or associate. It is the least expensive and the most credible as well. I finally figured out where my word of mouth advertising comes into play... There's a Spirit deep inside each of us that desires our word of mouth testimony. This Spirit craves it! It's free! It's from a credible source. This Spirit provides you with everything that you need and some of what you want.

Keeping Secrets

As a Life Coach for many years one of the exercises that I give my students is to write the clues that God has given them about their purpose; their gift. I realized that as long as I have been teaching this principle I have never been 'the man in the mirror' and taken an honest look at my own life. But today it finally hit home...it all made sense. I have always loved writing and I have an aptitude for it. I am a writer! In spite of all of the things that I've done, I am a writer.

Why pursuing your dream should never be a sprint!

When watching a sprint during a track meet a lot of effort and energy is expended in a brief amount of time. Marathon runners; on the other hand talk about the importance of pacing oneself. Marathons also have obstacles like the steeplechase. Life has obstacles as well. Unlike the steeplechase, however; sometimes those obstacles come with no warning. You can't prepare or plan for them. Some people call this serendipity. Other people throw up their hands and shrug their shoulders and say, "Caca happens..." (Most people don't say Caca...) It is said that 10% of life is what happens to us and 90% of life is how we deal with it. Take your time and stay focused.

Consistently consistent

I'm posting this for one reason and one reason only. I want to be consistent. Consistency is critical to achieving success. It has been said that 'practice makes perfect'. Someone once told me that perfect practice makes perfect. I abandoned any illusions of perfection and chose instead to focus on consistency. Consistency breeds success and success breeds happiness.

Time: How Will You Measure It?

"Kairos (καιρός) is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment (the supreme moment). The ancient Greeks had two words for time, chronos and kairos. While the former refers to chronological or sequential time, the latter signifies a time lapse, a moment of indeterminate time in which everything happens." Think back to the song "Always and Forever" by Heatwave. Or "September" by the elements Earth, Wind and Fire.

Chronicling my observations on a daily basis.

When I made the decision to become a professional writer I asked myself; what are the attributes of a professional writer? This caused me to ask a more basic question. What is a professional? A professional is someone who has put the time in their craft (refer to the 10,000 Hour Rule), and usually gets paid for what they do. Do they have a God given talent or gift? It helps, but not necessarily. The person is simply willing to write over and over on a consistent basis until they become a professional writer. That's all. No magic.

Show Some Love!

Show some love is a popular phrase uttered when introducing a musical artist or other performer. Most of the time the audience stands and begins to applaud the arrival of the performer. What does, "Show some love!" mean? Do we as individuals need to do a better job of showing love to our fellow brothers and sisters?

Why Boredom Isn't In My Vocabulary

I am sitting here thinking; why isn't boredom in my vocabulary? Why am I never bored? I answered the question by realizing that there's always something to do. I am constantly reading a new book or updating the list of books that I want to read. I often explain why I don't use the word with a simple analogy. I ask the question that if you had a fully fueled Lear Jet and a qualified pilot who was willing to take you wherever you wanted to go; would you stay at home? Of course you wouldn't! This same is true with your brain. We can use our thoughts and imagination to transport anywhere that we want to go, at any time! The only question that you have to answer is where are you going to go?

Releasing Yourself

As I approach the end of my fifty-fifth year on the planet, I am beginning to realize something very poignant and obvious. I'm a grown man. It's time to release myself from this self-imposed prison that I have put myself into. I have the key and I literally went into the cell. Closed the door and threw the key through the bars out of my reach. Self-imposed imprisonment is imposed by not establishing clear boundaries.

Is your friendship really contingent on a click?

With the rash of cloned Facebook accounts and the number of new friend requests I get from people that I'm already Facebook friends with it made me ask myself a fundamental question. What would happen if I didn't accept the request? Would we cease being friends in reality? Is our friendship really contingent on a click?

Miracles

What is a miracle? The odds of you being born means that your sperm and egg had to overcome insurmountable odds for you to exist as a person. "The odds stacked against any single sperm cell making the grueling journey to the egg can be offset by producing a large number of sperm. While just a small fraction of the sperm will reach their destination and do the job they were made to do." We take our existence for granted instead of giving thanks. You won a neonatal lottery on the day you were born! Perhaps that is what we should celebrate! Most people in Western culture take it for granted and we feel as though we deserve the right to live in this country. We feel a sense of entitlement. Each of us are unique. Each of us are wonderful! Each of us...all 7 billion of us are special. The fact that no two people have the same fingerprint or DNA is a miracle. Don't ever take it for granted. Neil Degrasse Tyson said it best when he said that most people have an inflated sense of self. You are a miracle. Act like it. Don't take it for granted.

What is the real power of questions?

Without even thinking about it, I have drawn you into my space. Questions have incredible power to control. That's why attorneys use them so masterfully. A successful attorney is like a magician that uses sleight of hand to make the jury believe that they saw something they didn't see. I learned as a young boy that the person asking the questions is in control. That's why the wife will ask, "Where have you been?" A common defense is to deflect attention by the husband asking her, "Why do you want to know?!" Questions are incredibly powerful tools. Use them to craft your future.

Life is a binary choice test.

The pretense of binary choice means that there is a right or wrong answer. True or False. Yes or No. Only one of them is right. The best example of this phenomenon is pregnancy. Either the woman is or isn't pregnant. She isn't kinda pregnant. Salvation is a binary choice as well. We can choose it or not. Yes or No. Right or Wrong. After taking a close look at my life, I choose God.Like most well planned tests it is relatively easy in retrospect. This means after the questions. Wisdom is when you know the answer and do it before the question.

The art of conversation

Late Night Show Hosts begin the show with a monologue. Most of us never really think about it. Johnny Carson, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, and Seth Meyers all do it. But what is a monologue and how does it differ from a dialogue or conversation? Many of us may be in a group talking to the others, but what we're really having are several competing monologues at once! One person speaks and the others nod their heads in false agreement waiting for the person to pause so they can interject their thought. This continues for several minutes until one of the people glances at their wristwatch and excuses themselves. Is this rhetorical dance true conversation? True conversation involves two or more sharing thoughts and ideas. I learned the art of conversation several years ago during marriage counseling. The counseling didn't work, not because the principle was faulty, but because the parties were tainted. What is real conversation? Conversation is all about taking turns speaking. You say something. The other person summarizes what you said. You agree or disagree. Then they make a statement or ask a question. It sounds monotonous, but it's beautiful! Like a dance. Let your partner lead sometime.

Stay Focused!

One of my greatest challenges is to "keep the main thing the main thing" as my friend Greg Gray says. By nature I like to have several projects going on at once. My friend suggested that I do one thing. Finish that, and move on to the next thing. Makes sense, right? Well, easier said than done! If I didn't know better I'd say that I have ADD...I don't, right?? The primary thing is to prioritize and stay focused!

Transitioning From Unplanned Descent to Planned Ascent

The medical profession calls a fall 'an unplanned descent to the ground'. I think that it's a nice way to describe an ugly situation. Whether your talking about an unplanned descent literally or figuratively there will be pain! Either skinned knees or bruised egos or both will be involved. Thousands of people die every year from falls and even more sustain life changing injuries from broken bones and internal injuries. The figurative descent results in depression which can also be deadly. The damage from depression is hard to detect and often harder to treat. A planned ascent on the other hand will require a team to support and encourage you. You will need someone to give you an emotional boost when things get tough.

Marginalized

I know what it means to be marginalized. Now I know how some children, the elderly or some ethnic groups feel. Not only does your opinion not count. It isn't even asked for. Your opinion isn't even solicited. This happens even when you are imminently qualified! I experienced this first hand as a physically challenged person with dysarthria. This spoken by a professional disc jockey with over thirty years of experience! This can result in embarrassment in social situations even though there is no relationship between this symptom and the individual's intelligence. When I am in a group setting with my family or friends, I am often ignored or left out of the conversation. Meanwhile, my thoughts are left out like day old meat. It's important to let people know how you feel and you have something valuable to contribute to the discussion. A friend described this perfectly. She compared it to a newscaster talking to a foreign correspondent and the delay which often occurs before the other person starts to speak. Patience is a virtue...