Why Mixing Bowls Aren't Flat

One of the wedding gifts that I purchased for my son and daughter-in-law's wedding is a set of mixing bowls. I thought that it was a practical gift that they will get a lot of use from. I thought about some of the other gift choices and I wondered why unlike plates and trays mixing bowls are created to bring ingredients together. They are lower in the center of the bowl to encourage blending. A good marriage is a lot like a mixing bowl. It is designed to bring things together.

Climbing out of a hole...

The mind is willing, but the body is weak! MS is a chronic disease not a terminal one that is characterized by fatigue as one of its many symptoms. My mind has been minimally affected and often I find myself wanting to do things that would require too much energy. I think about this and I literally have to will myself to do it. It's kind of a drag. I quickly discovered that most things aren't that important or critical and they are placed in the "bigger fish to fry" category. When I do accomplish a task I almost hurt myself patting myself on the back and giving thanks to God. You have to dig yourself out of this hole called depression and keep doing what you had been doing to the best of your ability fighting gravity every step of the way.

Embracing The Uncomfortable

As a teacher and instructor I realized that for learning to occur people need to step out of their comfort zone. I would tell them if they're not uncomfortable then I'm not doing my job. In life it's important to do things that make us a little uncomfortable. As human beings it's the way that we learn. Choose something that you're comfortable with that you want to change and decide that you're going to embrace change. The majority of us don't like change. We want things to remain the way that they have always been. This isn't realistic though. Things in life are constantly in a state of flux. What do you want or need to change? Will you accept this? Will you embrace this change?

Leap And The Net Will Appear!

I consider myself to be a risk taker. The majority of business owners are. The concept of leaping first and the net appearing is a Zen principle. It's really about having faith and being willing to take a risk and trusting that things will work out for the best. I just watched a video by Steve Harvey where he talks about your parachute and how it won't open until you jump first. Are you willing to take a leap of faith and jump into your destiny?

You're amazing!

I just finished watching a video by spoken word artist Prince Ea entitled 'I Sued The School System'. He has another video which captured High School students reactions to the video. I have read many articles about the education system in the United States and they all say the same thing. Our education system is broken! People are unique and yet the system is the same for everyone. The school system teaches to the test and most of what is taught is not relevant to everyday life. Every person is amazing and unique and yet the school system doesn't act like it. I believe that our educational priorities need to be examined and changed to place greater emphasis on the individual. More emphasis should be placed on critical thinking instead of core competencies.

The Law of Attraction: One man's perspective

When I encounter various principles I look for examples or applications of the rule in my life. I am particularly intrigued by The Law of Attraction. When I reflect on my own life I see countless examples of the principle at work. Much of the way this principle works is based on your expectations. If you expect something good to happen on a subconscious level then the Universe is obligated to comply. The most recent example of this was a class that I attended on chaplaincy. I struck up a conversation with a young lady who shared her story and offered to share her lunch with me. I thanked her for the generous offer, but declined. She did get me some of the continental breakfast that was served that morning and a bottle of water. This was another example of God sending His angels to watch over me. The key is to expect it, but not take it for granted.

Alternate Reality

I find it fascinating that two different people can witness the exact same thing and have two different versions of what happened. Each of us have our own reality which is the major reason that the divorce rate is so high. We are each looking at the situation through our own glasses from a completely different world view. This fact is what makes us unique and puzzles psychologists around the world! Over time our paradigms change. Our world view shifts and our reality becomes altered. Is this a good thing? Share your thoughts on this alternate reality below.

The Compassion gene

I just watched a TED Talk on altruistic behavior and why some people are more altruistic than others. The lady who did the study researched psychopaths and what they lacked that made them exhibit psychopathic behavior She hypothesized that people on the other end of the scale and were altruistic exhibited physical differences. They had larger amygdalas than usual. I said that these people were different not only in things that could be seen, but in things that couldn't be seen like compassion. I even coined a phrase for it that I call the Compassion gene. Some people care and they literally can't help it! Other people want to care and they can't because they don't have the right genetics. People who are truly altruistic will help someone else at great expense to themselves.

The Workaround

When you achieve a goal in a way that you didn't think you would have to it's called a workaround. You would be surprised to find out that many of the most important discoveries are workarounds to things that were originally intended for something else entirely! Many vaccines used for treating one disease end up being a treatment for an entirely different malady. In life we often have to create workarounds to accomplish what we deserve from this life. Too many of think that we don't have the time, money or education to do what is necessary to achieve the goal. The question is are you willing to create a workaround or does the method have to be exactly what you think it should be? Life never turns out the way you thought that it would. Does it have to go the way that you planned or are you willing to do something different and create a new way?

Do Something!

“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.” - Eleanor Roosevelt This post is another plea from me to do something positive in your life. Take action! Develop a plan... It doesn't need to be perfect! It rarely is. Ask Thomas Edison if his first few light bulbs were perfect. Plans rarely are perfect. Write them in pencil and keep your eraser at the ready because they will need to be tweaked. I guarantee you that after I write this post I'll reread it and exclaim, "Man! I should have done that!" A counselor told me not to "should" on myself. I try not to, but I do. It's human nature and I am human. The main thing is to keep moving forward and doing something! I'm counting on you!

Keeping it 100

Occasionally you may hear the phrase, "I'm going to keep it real" or "I'm gonna keep it 100!" What the person is saying is that they're going to be authentic. Authenticity is an important part of being ourselves. We spend so much time in our culture trying to be someone else that we neglect who we are. We're beautiful and we need to accept and appreciate that beauty. I know that even identical twins are different in their personality and character traits. Be yourself and keep it 100 because no one can be a better you than you!

Living the life of your dreams is a balancing act

I have often marveled at high wire artists as they perform their feats of daring demonstration. What I realized a few years ago when I had my own balance challenges is that at any given moment you are are placing more emphasis or weight on one foot than the other. In other words, what appears to be equal is not equal at all but a series of subtle shifts in weight from one foot to the other. I applied this logic to my life and quickly saw that I should not apply equal emphasis or weight to different times in my own life. Many of the things that I read talk about living your life in the present. I had placed far too much emphasis on the future. I realize that while it is important to look forward and see what your goals are it is far more important to focus on the present. God gives us a gift each day that we've never seen before and is not promised which is why it's called the present.

This one thing is the catalyst for achieving everything!

I have been a student of this philosophy for years and I have learned one truth. All things that are ever achieved require you to do something. This could be a simple thing. It may seem insignificant at the time. Do one thing no matter how small and insignificant it may seem and do it consistently and ultimately your goal will be realized. You may have heard the next principle before, but it bears repeating. Break your goal down into small manageable tasks that you can accomplish easily and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment in achieving. Set an end date but don't beat yourself up if you don't accomplish goal by the date. The key is to set another day and keep consistently plugging away. I mentioned in another post that the Grand Canyon wasn't created in a day but over time. You can achieve your goals over time as long as you're consistent.

A week in the life...

I didn't realize how much we need another person in our lives until I had someone who I could rely on and depend on for the little things. We are inherently social so this shouldn't be a surprise. I am a fiercely independent person and it took me a while to adjust to the change in my life. I finally saw what a difference that true love makes when you allow it to and get out of your own way! It's remarkable to see the difference that a positive person who truly loves you can make in your life. I have never had this before. It's amazing!

Consistency is key!

I learned a very valuable lesson a few years ago when I created my training and development enterprise. I was working a full-time job and didn't have any extra time to start a business. With my family and employment demands I barely had time for the usual things. I remember reading about the importance of consistency and how the gorge we call the Grand Canyon wasn't created in a year or even a decade but over the course of thousands of years of consistency.

Lead as if someone were following you.

My youngest son and I learned a very valuable lesson today when we were following someone in the car today. The person that I was following was driving with no regard for the person in the car behind them; me! They made all of the classic 'I have absolutely no regard for the person following me' mistakes. They were weaving in and out of traffic. They would leave us at intersections when I caught a yellow or red light behind them and oh...they didn't give me the address of where we were going! Fortunately our destination was a popular landmark so I got there in spite of having a questionable guide. What lesson was reinforced? Never follow someone. Blaze your own trail!

It's your story. Live like you own it!

A new chapter in your story. I realized that our story is authored by our actions. Every page and every chapter is written by us. You may have help with certain chapters and you may have people who play an important role in your story, but it's your story. It can be an action story or a romance but it cannot be written by anyone else. Own it!

Sliding down the slippery slope.

God places certain challenges in our lives as a test. This is demonstrated vividly in the book of Job in the Bible. Some people believe that God repeats the test again until we pass it. I'm single and I'm a heterosexual man with a healthy desire for the female sex.
Scene 1: I enter the scene with my chest puffed out (pride) strutting around claiming that I keep my promise of celibacy intact on my own. I could handle the pressure because I'm a grown ass man! (pride comes before the fall)
Scene 2: I met a woman online and we begin to discuss things that we have in common healthwise. This website is not a dating site so I had no intention of trying to make a "love connection". Our online conversation transitioned to phone conversations and we quickly became fast friends. There was something unique about her and I was intrigued by her mind.
Scene 3: We quickly decided to take a trip and by the way, did I mention that she's married. Unhappily married, but married nonetheless. Kinda puts the situation in a whole different light doesn’t it? Don't judge me! Until this time I had a passing grade in this real life situation. What would you do?

The Path of Least Resistance

Along with my Bigger Fish To Fry Philosophy, I also tend to take the path of least resistance. If it seems like work it probably won’t happen! Laziness isn’t even a factor. It’s a matter of energy management. People can’t believe that I wrote this blog post on my Smartphone. I took the path of least resistance. Most people use a desktop computer or laptop. Using a desktop computer would restrict me to the house and a laptop isn’t the most convenient way to type in the bed or sitting in the car. A Smartphone on the other hand is very convenient. It’s simply a matter of getting used to a smaller screen and different techniques for typing paragraphs.

Bigger Fish To Fry Philosophy

A few years after I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis I adopted a new perspective on the importance of things in my life. I call my new philosophy the Bigger Fish To Fry Philosophy.
I realized that the vast majority of events that I formerly thought were important weren't. I realized that most events would take place as scheduled whether I took part or didn't. It was kind of humbling. Again, it helps you put things in perspective.
It makes one ask themselves how important am I to the outcome of the event?

Why I don't believe in luck...

When you're about to take on a new endeavor it's common for someone to say, "Good luck!" With luck there's a chance that something could go wrong. Failure is an option with luck. That's why I don't believe in it and I refuse to use the word. It doesn't exist in my vocabulary.

Is your vessel half full or overflowing?

I heard a powerful sermon today and it made me think to myself, "Am I overflowing in God's love for my brother?" Pastor Miles talked about Facebook friends and the ease that you can "friend"  someone and not even know them personally.
In his series called Love Wins he talks about being "all in"  for a true friend.

Keeping the main thing the main thing!

A few years ago my friend Greg Gray told me that the primary focus should be to make the main thing the main thing. I finally got it. I used to have several things going on at once and I thought that it was impressive. I thought that that was just the way that I was and that I needed to have all of these things going on in my life to be productive.
Something happened with one of those things and I took some time to reflect and ask myself if I really needed to do it right now or if I should finish up the first project before I started something else. I finally realized that I should focus on the first thing alone and ride it to completion before starting something else.

What does it mean to work for yourself?

Let me begin by saying that being self employed and working for yourself are different. I will attempt to to explain the differences between being self employed and working for yourself.
When you are self employed you may own the business, but you really work for the client. Their schedule becomes your schedule and their compensation becomes your compensation. If it didn't then you wouldn't have the contract.
Most of us get stuck doing this (read the E-Myth Revisited) for example.
Working for yourself is different in that you control your schedule and compensation.
Do you want real control over your time and your life? Do you want freedom?

What is consistency?

I have learned many lessons throughout my life and the one lesson that I have seen pay off over and over is the lesson of consistency. Too often people start a task quickly expending a lot of time and effort. When they don't see the results that they had hoped for they get discouraged and quit.
I have learned time and time again that consistency is key. It doesn't matter how fast you start but how long that you persevere. Think of the story of the tortoise and the hare. They took off. The hare quickly built a large seemingly insurmountable lead. The tortoise was much slower than the hare, but he was consistent. As you remember, the hare became complacent and eventually the tortoise passed the hare with slow, consistent steps.

Is integration good for everyone?

In the month of February as we commemorate Black History, I thought of something very profound. I thought about a question that Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. himself asked. Is integration good for everyone?
Growing up as a child of the seventies, integration was seen as the panacea that would cure all of our ills as a race. We would be able to attend the same schools and live in the same neighborhoods as our Caucasian brothers and sisters. That's a good thing, right? I'm not a historian, but I know that many of us did better in places like Greenwood, Tulsa, Oklahoma known as Black Wall Street.
I came to the conclusion that integration without opportunity is worthless. Many of us could attend the same school or live in the same neighborhood without the same opportunities that other people have.

The most important job in the world!

This post is going to be an unabashed shout out to my mom so get ready. My mom is awesome! She is definitely my number one fan. You need that kind of support! I am blessed to have her! Mothers have the most difficult job in the world bar none! A good mother knows how to strike a balance between supporting and spoiling her children. She walks a fine line between love and enabling her child no matter what their age is. She makes sacrifices that don't make sense to most people because that's what great moms do. To moms everywhere, this post is dedicated to you! Thank you!

Belief in yourself comes before belief in Him.

I am no Math whiz. In fact, Math wasn't even one of my favorite subjects in school. What I do remember about the subject is that the order of operation matters and you could arrive at vastly different answers using the same numbers depending on the order that you used them.
I am a very spiritual person. Other people who I know that believe in a Higher power put all of their faith in Him. I believe that this is wrong. When Jesus Christ asked Peter to come to Him by walking on the water at first he didn't have a problem. When he started to doubt himself then Peter began to sink.

Driving in the slow lane

There is an art to driving consistently in the slow lane. I believe that you should only use the slow lane for getting on or off the freeway.
It's the lane to speed up to the flow of traffic if you're getting on the freeway or slowing down if you're getting off the freeway.
Some people consistently drive in the slow lane. They are constantly slowing down or speeding up to match the speed of people getting on or off the freeway.
Life is a lot like freeway driving. Some people get in the number one lane otherwise known as the fast lane and slow traffic down or either pass other traffic from the slow lane or drive too slowly in the slow lane. Take a risk. We have been conditioned to not take risks out of fear of the unknown. From my perspective the next moment is unknown and we still inhale! We breathe so that we may live. This is my reasoning for taking risks. Do it so that you can live.
It comes to a point where those people should not drive on the freeway at all.

The perfect storm

The more that I learn about the autoimmune condition called Multiple Sclerosis, the more that I'm certain of my conclusion.
1. Everyone who I have come in contact with that has MS was uncommonly active before the diagnosis.
2.  They each had a stressor in their life and
3.  They had certain genetic factors present.
It was as if the "perfect storm" of conditions made the disease present itself. It's as if we "pushed the disease out" and forced it to show itself.

Why does Monday get a bad rap?

Why does Monday get such a bad rap? Sadly, just like people, all days are not created equal. When you think about it Monday is really no different than any other day.
I've come to the conclusion that the people who hate Mondays have a job that they don't like and that's not Monday's fault. It's a personal problem and it shouldn't be projected onto a day of the week or a person for that matter.

Definition of true friendship

What is a true friend? After much thought and consideration I have arrived at the conclusion that true friendship is an amalgamation of two characteristics: 1) Honesty and 2) Loyalty.
Let's look at at honesty not to be confused with cruelty.
Honesty is the ability to give an opinion about something without judging the person.
Loyalty means being true to something or someone. It's belief in them against all odds. It's faith. The term 'blind faith' comes to mind. True faith is the belief in the unseen. Which, brings me back to loyalty and sticking with someone through thick and thin. Showing up for them like it's a job that you love.

Is one choice really an option?

I recently had a conversation with my youngest son and he said that he had do something and he gave only one choice. I thought about it and asked myself if one choice is really an option.
Technically, it is because the fall back option is always to do nothing, but in a practical sense one option is not really a choice.
It would be like asking someone to lunch and they give you a blank stare instead of an answer. Technically the blank stare is an answer, but you probably were looking for them to verbalize or shake their head yes or no.